I Refuse To Be Ashamed Of My Sexual Assault Anymore

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault

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Photo by pine watt on Unsplash

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If you haven't seen it yet, I've officially been published. I wrote this angry yet poignant piece about my experience with sexual assault. It was published on Thought Catalog yesterday afternoon at the link below:

I Refuse To Be Ashamed Of My Sexual Assault Anymore

At first, I only wrote it to truly gain an understanding of what I went through. I didn't know whether or not to catalogue it as sexual assault, I just knew that what happened is without a doubt something I never wanted.

After it happened, I scoured the internet for stories of other women who might have experienced something similar. I wanted to know if my pain was validated even after I entered a relationship with him. There were a few stories I managed to find, but it was still scarce. By the time I finished my piece, I realized just how important sharing my words were.

I might have spent at least an hour looking over at my godson and admiring his purity and innocence. I remember thinking, "You don't know malice or spite yet." I know that when I have my own children, I won't be able to protect them from the horrors of the world. I know that if I have a daughter, I won't be able to protect her from the ill intentions of men, no matter how hard I try. So if I have a daughter, and the most unfortunate thing occurs to her too, I want her to be brave and strong. I want her to have no shame in speaking out.

I shared this piece with Thought Catalog for those women who needed to know they are not alone in their struggles. I shared this piece for my future children.