Vocal and Veracious

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I am a twenty-something-year-old woman who unapologetically lives a genuine life for herself.

But I wasn’t always. I used to be a shy and naive girl, way too concerned with what others thought about me. I was the definition of a people-pleaser. I had a strong desire to be liked and accepted. If that meant I had to keep thoughts to myself, I did. If that meant I had to behave in a different way, I did. I constantly watered myself down because I was afraid that my true self was too intense and too fucked up for everyone else. I chipped away pieces of my personality to conform to society’s ideals of a young and proper woman.

But you know what, fuck that.

I spent way too long looking in the mirror and crying not just because I couldn’t recognize the person staring back at me. But because I didn’t like her. She was restricted and anchored down to everyone else’s expectations of her. She refused to speak or move without looking to someone else for their approval for her life.

She was a censored version of myself. Someone who decided not to cuss because that’s unladylike and vulgar. She couldn’t be too outspoken because she was concerned about who she could possibly offend. It was exhausting living in her shadow, questioning whether or not I was a good person. Who in the fuck made me think I was a bad person for being unfiltered?

I’m brash, rude, impulsive, and way too sarcastic for anyone’s tastes. But guess what? That’s me. I’m a bitch. I’m too loud. I’m blunt as hell. And yet, I love every fucking bit of me. Because I know there’s more to me than just that. I have layers beyond the things I say that shock others. I’m fiercely loyal, incredibly loving, and stronger than most realize. At the end of the day, my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. And those who truly love and care for me will stay.

So here is to being vocal and veracious in our thoughts. Let’s be authentic and human.

Honestly,

K. Grace